ha.. finally

So i am here again becus heesu is so lonesome!
this month theres a lot of stuff going onnnn i dont know what to do.. i got accepted to hawaii pacific university and i got a scholarship!! wow.. i was so happy i cried and thanked God again and again. i dont deserve this.. but anyways my family is so discouraging. i was so happy about the scholarship and i tell my bro but he says, "oh i heard that hawaii sucks, are you really going to go there...."
i just wanted to be like, "hey i heard riverside sucks, but you go there huh?" damn at least i got a scholarship what an ungrateful fool.
i called my dad to tell him about hpu and the scholarship but he didnt pick up, or call back......
and my mother was happy about it on the phone and when she came home she saw the tuition again and was like.. blah blah blah money blah loan blahhh scholarship blahblahhh.. and so i got mad but kept my temper down and just said, "then you pick where i go to college and how bout you pretend to be me and YOU finish college..?" and i left to pee... ha..ha... not very kind of me but whatever. and later she says "if you studied harder then you would have gotten a full ride.. or at least half of the tuition could have been paid for you.." wtf i was so mad i dont care about college anymore. let my mom choose, my life is her life right...............okay that actually felt really good.. but no more. i love my family.
btw there is a huge sale at forever 21. 50% off of stuffffff.. pretty coraji.
fasting tomorrow.. gotta pray to have a better heart mind and soul. and for retreat. n stuff..
been gaining weight, but its ok my uncle told me i look better.. haha..
got rid of that habit of picking out my clothes the night before..
christmas is coming
so is my bday
i wish we had white christmases but unfortunately we dont.
our last retreat is coming up. hoping that me and heesu will be in the same group or at least the same cabin. please God?
i love jun gi jang pan. and my dog.
goodnight <3